Monday, August 15, 2011

Negative Plus Negative Does Not Equal Positive

Lately, as usual, I’ve been doing some self-reflecting. Like many women who do an emotional and physical evaluation, I didn’t like what I saw. I won’t delve into the depths of my self-consciousness, but there were some pretty negative thoughts going on there. Interestingly enough, most women will hear a thousand compliments, but desperately cling onto that one put-down. Why is that? Why do most women have the talent of putting themselves down more than anyone they know? I’ve seen women who have more confidence in their little finger than I did in the whole right hemisphere of my brain…and I was subsequently ridden with jealousy. What was holding so many of us back from seeing the beauty that everyone else saw? Or more importantly, seeing our own self-worth?

Today, while in the oral surgeon’s office to get a wisdom tooth removed (which clearly didn’t happen; I wouldn’t be writing this) I saw the August cover of Redbook Magazine, which featured Jada Pinkett-Smith, the longtime faithful wife of actor Will Smith. The article covered Mrs. Smith’s many accolades, her “struggle” being a mother (living in LA as one half as one of the most prosperous couples in Hollywood is hardly a struggle), but most importantly some of her most valuable life lessons. One quote she used stood out to me (although I don’t remember it verbatim); she said that everyone makes mistakes but what are you gonna do to make it better? This can be applied to many things—in this case, one’s negative thinking. You could be having a bad day, everything’s going wrong, the mascara running down your face from the tears…but are you going to wallow in self-pity or get up and do something about it? Exactly.

Hopefully I can practice what I preach, circa 90s Barry White. Meh.

Jada’s August cover here.

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